I think one of the best times for learning lessons is on your bike. After an hour of riding tonight, it started getting dark and cold. Dressed for warmer weather, my fingers and knees quickly became numb and started to burn. Knowing that I didn't have a front light on my bike, I started to push myself to get home as quick as possible. My eyes watered, and yes, I blew quite a few snot rockets. I tell you what, snot rockets are an art and if you don't get it right, well, you get the picture.
Eventually I came to the last two hills. My legs were burning at this point and my breathing was short and fast. I wasn't happy.
It was then that I had an epiphany.
I have not truly enjoyed my runs or rides for the past few weeks. Wondering why the things I love so much had become so dreadful, I realized something. Whenever I finish a run or a ride I am instantly thinking of how I can do it better next time. I never feel that sense of accomplishment because there is always another goal to reach, a faster pace to run, a longer ride to pedal. Unfortunately, I've become so focused on gaining speed and strength that I have forgotten to enjoy. I beat myself up by saying, "You could have done that better. If only you would/wouldn't...". And so, I am never good enough. The goals I make are never ending and quite honestly, impossible to accomplish in the amount of time I desire to accomplish them in.
ENJOY.
When I think about that word, I smile. There are a lot of things I enjoy. Ice cream, sleeping, a lovely sunset, my closest friends, a new pair of tennis shoes, an empty inbox at work, and laughter. However, I've somehow seemed to lost the art of enjoying, or as I like to put it, delighting in, my runs and rides. And honestly, that just takes all the fun out of it!
So with a numb body, burning legs, gasping lungs, and a longing to be home before dark, I looked up.
Wow! I saw before me the most gorgeous silhouette of pine trees against a bright blue sky that faded into pink then a light shade of purple. With the chilly wind in my face, I laughed out loud and...you guessed it...enjoyed!!!
God, I don't ever want to take for granted the moments in the day you have given me that can be enjoyed. Help me to delight in the small and the big, the comfortable and the challenging, the fun and the routine. You reminded me tonight that the reason you've given me a love for running and biking is because I love being out in your creation! Help me never lose sight of the beauty before me. I want to surrender my goals and my dissatisfied heart to praise you over what you have helped me accomplish. A 3 mile run with huge hills? YES! A 14 mile bike ride in the freezing cold? YES! All glory be to you! I don't ever want to sell you short of what you've allowed my body to succeed in by focusing on what I cannot accomplish quite yet. Help me give you praise for the small goals reached and lean on you to move forward. I love you. Thank you for helping me enjoy tonight!
Friday, October 29, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
I want to go on an adventure....
I recently stumbled upon a video about a guy that I knew from Tyler way back in the day. He applied to be the "Island Caretaker" at the Great Barrier Reef in Australia. This competition was called "The Best Job in the World" and tons of young, adventuresome, and passionate adults sent in their videos explaining why they were the perfect fit for the job. After spending about 30 minutes watching these awe-inspiring videos, I realized something. I crave adventure. I long for it. I need it. I miss it.
Yes, it's true. My weekly bike rides, walks, picture-taking excursions, and disc golf games satisfy my sense of adventure to a point. And the occasional trips to the mountains for hiking, rock climbing, and camping are thrilling. But come-on, that is nothing compared to living in Australia giving tours of the Great Barrier Reef!!!
So I'm sitting here, in my comfortable little bed with all my needs so easily provided, thinking about my desk job (which I love and am truly grateful for!) and wondering......
What if I went on an adventure? Like a REAL adventure? One in which plans are optional and you have to trust the Lord to provide for your basic needs. An adventure that would change you, grow you, and leave you jaw dropped.
What would it take for me to do something like that? Where would I even begin? I feel like I'm just "playing it safe" here. There is no risk in anything I do right now. Nothing that tests me, tries me, or asks me to rely on God alone. I can pay all my bills with full assurance, know what my next ten meals will be, have friends and family who love me, and have a schedule that barely allows for change. Hmmm....that seems quite comfortable and mediocre to me.
But where is the line between adventure and responsibility drawn? I mean, I need to pay my bills and eat, right? So how much control do I give up? When is my sense for adventure just a stupid idea instead of truly trusting God to provide?
Something to think on.....
And until then, I will wake up at 6am, shower, dress, eat, drive to work, sit at my desk for 4 hours, type emails, answer the phone, write a few updates, organize, call for quotes for a commercial during the Super Bowl, add names to an excel list, eat some lunch, do all of that for another 4 hours, get off work, go for a run, shove more food down, shower again, run to a presentation about Israel, chat for a while with friends, come home, read, talk to my family, do my Bible study, and go to bed.....
ALL to the GLORY of GOD.
And I think that is my adventure for the time being.
Lord, help me accept the season of life you have me in right now. I feel safe, comfortable, and bored. But I know that you have placed me in the job, the home, the community that you desire. Give me the faith to believe you know what you are doing! Help my unbelief! Show me how life with you is the greatest adventure known to man! Help me be faithful in the small things so that I can eventually be faithful in the big things. Let my mind and my heart be here, now, fully present, fully surrendered, and content. Happiness is a choice not a circumstance. Show me how to discover you daily and gain joy and freedom from the small things! Open my eyes to see your beauty, adventure, and awesomeness right around me. Do not squelch the fire in my bones to GO, to EXPLORE, to DISCOVER. But put them in the proper place until you want them to run free! Please lead me to the best adventure for my life....living for your GLORY alone!
Yes, it's true. My weekly bike rides, walks, picture-taking excursions, and disc golf games satisfy my sense of adventure to a point. And the occasional trips to the mountains for hiking, rock climbing, and camping are thrilling. But come-on, that is nothing compared to living in Australia giving tours of the Great Barrier Reef!!!
So I'm sitting here, in my comfortable little bed with all my needs so easily provided, thinking about my desk job (which I love and am truly grateful for!) and wondering......
What if I went on an adventure? Like a REAL adventure? One in which plans are optional and you have to trust the Lord to provide for your basic needs. An adventure that would change you, grow you, and leave you jaw dropped.
What would it take for me to do something like that? Where would I even begin? I feel like I'm just "playing it safe" here. There is no risk in anything I do right now. Nothing that tests me, tries me, or asks me to rely on God alone. I can pay all my bills with full assurance, know what my next ten meals will be, have friends and family who love me, and have a schedule that barely allows for change. Hmmm....that seems quite comfortable and mediocre to me.
But where is the line between adventure and responsibility drawn? I mean, I need to pay my bills and eat, right? So how much control do I give up? When is my sense for adventure just a stupid idea instead of truly trusting God to provide?
Something to think on.....
And until then, I will wake up at 6am, shower, dress, eat, drive to work, sit at my desk for 4 hours, type emails, answer the phone, write a few updates, organize, call for quotes for a commercial during the Super Bowl, add names to an excel list, eat some lunch, do all of that for another 4 hours, get off work, go for a run, shove more food down, shower again, run to a presentation about Israel, chat for a while with friends, come home, read, talk to my family, do my Bible study, and go to bed.....
ALL to the GLORY of GOD.
And I think that is my adventure for the time being.
Lord, help me accept the season of life you have me in right now. I feel safe, comfortable, and bored. But I know that you have placed me in the job, the home, the community that you desire. Give me the faith to believe you know what you are doing! Help my unbelief! Show me how life with you is the greatest adventure known to man! Help me be faithful in the small things so that I can eventually be faithful in the big things. Let my mind and my heart be here, now, fully present, fully surrendered, and content. Happiness is a choice not a circumstance. Show me how to discover you daily and gain joy and freedom from the small things! Open my eyes to see your beauty, adventure, and awesomeness right around me. Do not squelch the fire in my bones to GO, to EXPLORE, to DISCOVER. But put them in the proper place until you want them to run free! Please lead me to the best adventure for my life....living for your GLORY alone!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Been a While
Well, it's been a while since I've written anything. And believe me, there is a lot to write. God has been active and loud in my life these past few weeks. However, I'm sure I haven't been listening as well as I have needed to.
Do you ever feel so overwhelmed with all that needs to get done in a day? And for some reason spending time with God is the first to go, even though I am well aware of the fact that it is the absolute most important aspect of my day. Satan knows what he's doing, hu?
But I don't want to give Satan credit. He's a liar, deceiver, untrustworthy, and selfish. He wants all the attention. So instead of talking about how Satan has tricked me into believing a few things this week, I'm going to talk about how God has reminded me of the truth! I want God's name to be lifted higher, and higher, and higher.
I am frustrated that I cannot get myself out of bed in the morning. My charming little alarm clock goes off at 6am every morning, and I press the off button every morning, only to continue hitting the off button for the next three alarms that go off after the initial one. Then I jolt from bed, throw in my contacts, brush my teeth, grab cereal on the way out the door, and drag into work feeling frazzled, frustrated, and disappointed. I feel powerless to rise and shine.
After a full day of draining work, I am feeling tired, emotional, and dry. I need time with Jesus so badly. So I plan to have a quiet evening at home only to discover that every night this week is booked solid with activities, events, and errands. Not only that, but if I do get a night at home, I make poor decisions and end up watching tv or doing who-know's-what and wasting the entire evening on pointless, life-sucking distractions. I feel powerless and defeated.
It seems like my nights and mornings have been taken captive by the master of distraction. Yes, I need sleep. Yes, I need time to socialize or veg out. But honestly, I'm totally drained and feel like my life is a mess right now. All I want is to have the strength to get up early, take a run, sip some tea, and read my Bible. All I want is the ability to say no to draining activities like television and facebook and get some real rest with my King. Why am I in this sick cycle? How do I get out!!!
So this is my prayer tonight....as I leave you to go read my Bible and get some sleep.....
Jesus, please wake me up tomorrow. It is not a selfish desire, I want to spend time with you. But I feel powerless to get my body to move in the mornings. I'm disappointed in myself, but want to accept your grace and move forward. Help me to forgive myself, let go of past failures, and start anew. I want my mornings and evenings to be yours again. In your name, Jesus, will you reclaim my time and my efforts. I'm tired of being tired all the time. I'm tired of being busy all the time. I'm tired of being distracted by this world all the time. I need you desperately. I cannot even make the choice to choose you over this world without you giving me the strength to make that decision. I want to grow in my desire for you, fall in love with you more, until the things of this world mean nothing to me. Jesus, the first thing is this....wake me up in the morning to spend time with you. I long for it. I love you. Amen.
Do you ever feel so overwhelmed with all that needs to get done in a day? And for some reason spending time with God is the first to go, even though I am well aware of the fact that it is the absolute most important aspect of my day. Satan knows what he's doing, hu?
But I don't want to give Satan credit. He's a liar, deceiver, untrustworthy, and selfish. He wants all the attention. So instead of talking about how Satan has tricked me into believing a few things this week, I'm going to talk about how God has reminded me of the truth! I want God's name to be lifted higher, and higher, and higher.
I am frustrated that I cannot get myself out of bed in the morning. My charming little alarm clock goes off at 6am every morning, and I press the off button every morning, only to continue hitting the off button for the next three alarms that go off after the initial one. Then I jolt from bed, throw in my contacts, brush my teeth, grab cereal on the way out the door, and drag into work feeling frazzled, frustrated, and disappointed. I feel powerless to rise and shine.
After a full day of draining work, I am feeling tired, emotional, and dry. I need time with Jesus so badly. So I plan to have a quiet evening at home only to discover that every night this week is booked solid with activities, events, and errands. Not only that, but if I do get a night at home, I make poor decisions and end up watching tv or doing who-know's-what and wasting the entire evening on pointless, life-sucking distractions. I feel powerless and defeated.
It seems like my nights and mornings have been taken captive by the master of distraction. Yes, I need sleep. Yes, I need time to socialize or veg out. But honestly, I'm totally drained and feel like my life is a mess right now. All I want is to have the strength to get up early, take a run, sip some tea, and read my Bible. All I want is the ability to say no to draining activities like television and facebook and get some real rest with my King. Why am I in this sick cycle? How do I get out!!!
So this is my prayer tonight....as I leave you to go read my Bible and get some sleep.....
Jesus, please wake me up tomorrow. It is not a selfish desire, I want to spend time with you. But I feel powerless to get my body to move in the mornings. I'm disappointed in myself, but want to accept your grace and move forward. Help me to forgive myself, let go of past failures, and start anew. I want my mornings and evenings to be yours again. In your name, Jesus, will you reclaim my time and my efforts. I'm tired of being tired all the time. I'm tired of being busy all the time. I'm tired of being distracted by this world all the time. I need you desperately. I cannot even make the choice to choose you over this world without you giving me the strength to make that decision. I want to grow in my desire for you, fall in love with you more, until the things of this world mean nothing to me. Jesus, the first thing is this....wake me up in the morning to spend time with you. I long for it. I love you. Amen.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Promises
God,
I’m overwhelmed right now. I’ve got boxes upon boxes and more coming tomorrow to price and sort. Then there are custom t-shirt orders, the web store, and the entire problem inventory to work through.
On top of that, I’m spiritually, emotionally, and physically exhausted.
I haven't had time to process anything that's happened in the past week emotionally. I did not get a weekend because of work. My faith is a big blur in my head and I don’t have anything to cling to. I feel like I’m dangling over a ledge and not sure what to grab onto. Nothing is secure. I’m on the verge of crying every moment. I don’t know if I love you or hate you. I don’t know if I should focus on becoming more patient, loving, servant hearted, or what. I feel like there are too many aspects of my heart that needs to be rebuilt and I don’t know where to place my focus. There are too many topics that need to be studied and understood and I don’t know where to begin.
I don’t know what to fight for and what to surrender. I don’t know what’s too far and what’s not enough. I don’t know what to stand up for and what to let go. I’m a mess.
So I just sit, too overwhelmed to get anything started. I place all my focus on work and I’m stressed out.
I feel like I need an entire week to just sit and be with you. But I don’t have the time or the energy.
I have laundry to get done, bills to be paid, people to call and get caught up with, work to be done, boxes to unload and price and sort, orders to fill, phone calls and emails to return. That’s not even my personal life.
Then there are friendships to maintain, my family to spend time with, time to relax, shower, and work out.
There is not enough time to sit and pray and read.
God, what do you want me to focus on? I don’t have enough time for work, friends, family, and self. I cannot sleep, workout, and keep myself healthy while hanging out all the time. Do you want me to build relationships or focus on myself? Do you want me home or out? Do you want me to work overtime to get things done? Do you want me to read or to pray or to walk or to write or to sing?
All I want to do is sleep. And cry. I’m so tired.
Give me strength. Give me rest. Give me peace.
"When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul." (Psalm 94:18-19)
"My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." (Exodus 33:14)
"My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life." (Psalm 119:50)
You said it. I believe it. You’re promises remain.
I’m overwhelmed right now. I’ve got boxes upon boxes and more coming tomorrow to price and sort. Then there are custom t-shirt orders, the web store, and the entire problem inventory to work through.
On top of that, I’m spiritually, emotionally, and physically exhausted.
I haven't had time to process anything that's happened in the past week emotionally. I did not get a weekend because of work. My faith is a big blur in my head and I don’t have anything to cling to. I feel like I’m dangling over a ledge and not sure what to grab onto. Nothing is secure. I’m on the verge of crying every moment. I don’t know if I love you or hate you. I don’t know if I should focus on becoming more patient, loving, servant hearted, or what. I feel like there are too many aspects of my heart that needs to be rebuilt and I don’t know where to place my focus. There are too many topics that need to be studied and understood and I don’t know where to begin.
I don’t know what to fight for and what to surrender. I don’t know what’s too far and what’s not enough. I don’t know what to stand up for and what to let go. I’m a mess.
So I just sit, too overwhelmed to get anything started. I place all my focus on work and I’m stressed out.
I feel like I need an entire week to just sit and be with you. But I don’t have the time or the energy.
I have laundry to get done, bills to be paid, people to call and get caught up with, work to be done, boxes to unload and price and sort, orders to fill, phone calls and emails to return. That’s not even my personal life.
Then there are friendships to maintain, my family to spend time with, time to relax, shower, and work out.
There is not enough time to sit and pray and read.
God, what do you want me to focus on? I don’t have enough time for work, friends, family, and self. I cannot sleep, workout, and keep myself healthy while hanging out all the time. Do you want me to build relationships or focus on myself? Do you want me home or out? Do you want me to work overtime to get things done? Do you want me to read or to pray or to walk or to write or to sing?
All I want to do is sleep. And cry. I’m so tired.
Give me strength. Give me rest. Give me peace.
"When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul." (Psalm 94:18-19)
"My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." (Exodus 33:14)
"My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life." (Psalm 119:50)
You said it. I believe it. You’re promises remain.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Shake Everything That Can Be Shaken
This past Sunday was a memorial Easter for me. Not for the reasons you may think. In fact, I was not rejoicing that Jesus had defeated the grave or that I now have the gift of salvation. I was not thanking him for the pain he endured to give me life. I was not singing songs about death and resurrection with a joyful and grateful heart. I did not sing at all.
About thirty minutes into the service, I could not hold it in any longer. So, in my bright pink silky dress and tall black heels, I sat on the edge of the curb in the parking lot, and wept.
In the past six months a lot of things have happened that have made me question what I believe. Don't get me wrong, my relationship with God is still strong and growing. But what I thought I knew about God, the church, and the Bible has all the sudden been challenged. I won't get into the details of why these things have been challenged, but it's enough to say that I was left scared, insecure, confused, and weary.
After a reassuring conversation with a dear friend from college, I realized what's been happening and why it's so frightening.
"At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, "Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens." The words "once more" indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain." Hebrews 12:26-27
Jesus is shaking everything that can be shaken.
I've been clinging onto religion more than onto Jesus. I've been obeying rules but having no mercy. I've been so black and white and legalistic. And all the sudden those worldly things are being stripped away and I'm not sure what's left.
So I am now on a new journey to discover what is left when everything is shaken.
And how do you completely discard your theology and rebuild it to be stronger, purer, and more biblically sound?
God is emptying me of all I have believed my whole life. And right now I'm a blank slate, empty, and vulnerable. But soon he will begin to rebuild, refill, and strengthen. It is a scary place to be. It seems that there is nothing to hold onto. But that's the point. Jesus wants to take all the religion, rituals, and rules away so that all I have left to cling to is him.
A wise friend told me last night......"When you want build your faith, pray and read the Word. It's that simple. The spirit will teach you and guide you to the truth if you just pray and read."
I'm willing to go through a season of having to say "I don't know what I believe about that yet" and being humbled in my lack of understanding in order to gain more freedom, knowledge, and love for Jesus. I want to know that I know that I know what I believe and why. I want to have confidence in those things again. The only way that happens is if my theology is built on Jesus' words.
And so now I am focusing on Jesus' words. I'm starting in John. One day at a time, trying to discover what it means to live and look like Jesus. Trying to understand what Jesus wanted the church to look and be like. Trying to understand what's black and white and what is okay left gray.
I believe that I have been very wrong in some of my beliefs and I'm excited to be reshaped.
Jesus, please lead and guide me to the truth. Please be my great teacher and use your Spirit inside of me to enlighten me and give me wisdom and knowledge. I want to know what you think about what a Christian is and who the church is. I want to know your theology. Teach me Jesus, teach me your ways and your heart. I love you and I trust you. I have peace even though I am scared and insecure. Help me trust you in this time of uncertainty.
Amen.
This is a song I've been listening to non-stop. Really speaks to my heart right now.
Fee: When Everything Falls Apart
You said
You´d never leave or forsake me
When you said
This life is gonna shake me
You said
This world is gonna bring trouble on my soul
This I know
When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You´re the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
You keep holding on
You keep holding on
When I see
The darkness all around me
When I see
The tragedy has found me
I still believe
Your faithful arms will never let me go
And still I know
When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You´re the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
You keep holding on
You keep holding on
Sorrow may last for the night
But hope is rising with the sun
Its rising with the sun
There will be storms in this life
But I know You will overcome
When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You´re the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find You mighty and strong
You keep holding on
About thirty minutes into the service, I could not hold it in any longer. So, in my bright pink silky dress and tall black heels, I sat on the edge of the curb in the parking lot, and wept.
In the past six months a lot of things have happened that have made me question what I believe. Don't get me wrong, my relationship with God is still strong and growing. But what I thought I knew about God, the church, and the Bible has all the sudden been challenged. I won't get into the details of why these things have been challenged, but it's enough to say that I was left scared, insecure, confused, and weary.
After a reassuring conversation with a dear friend from college, I realized what's been happening and why it's so frightening.
"At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, "Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens." The words "once more" indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain." Hebrews 12:26-27
Jesus is shaking everything that can be shaken.
I've been clinging onto religion more than onto Jesus. I've been obeying rules but having no mercy. I've been so black and white and legalistic. And all the sudden those worldly things are being stripped away and I'm not sure what's left.
So I am now on a new journey to discover what is left when everything is shaken.
And how do you completely discard your theology and rebuild it to be stronger, purer, and more biblically sound?
God is emptying me of all I have believed my whole life. And right now I'm a blank slate, empty, and vulnerable. But soon he will begin to rebuild, refill, and strengthen. It is a scary place to be. It seems that there is nothing to hold onto. But that's the point. Jesus wants to take all the religion, rituals, and rules away so that all I have left to cling to is him.
A wise friend told me last night......"When you want build your faith, pray and read the Word. It's that simple. The spirit will teach you and guide you to the truth if you just pray and read."
I'm willing to go through a season of having to say "I don't know what I believe about that yet" and being humbled in my lack of understanding in order to gain more freedom, knowledge, and love for Jesus. I want to know that I know that I know what I believe and why. I want to have confidence in those things again. The only way that happens is if my theology is built on Jesus' words.
And so now I am focusing on Jesus' words. I'm starting in John. One day at a time, trying to discover what it means to live and look like Jesus. Trying to understand what Jesus wanted the church to look and be like. Trying to understand what's black and white and what is okay left gray.
I believe that I have been very wrong in some of my beliefs and I'm excited to be reshaped.
Jesus, please lead and guide me to the truth. Please be my great teacher and use your Spirit inside of me to enlighten me and give me wisdom and knowledge. I want to know what you think about what a Christian is and who the church is. I want to know your theology. Teach me Jesus, teach me your ways and your heart. I love you and I trust you. I have peace even though I am scared and insecure. Help me trust you in this time of uncertainty.
Amen.
This is a song I've been listening to non-stop. Really speaks to my heart right now.
Fee: When Everything Falls Apart
You said
You´d never leave or forsake me
When you said
This life is gonna shake me
You said
This world is gonna bring trouble on my soul
This I know
When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You´re the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
You keep holding on
You keep holding on
When I see
The darkness all around me
When I see
The tragedy has found me
I still believe
Your faithful arms will never let me go
And still I know
When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You´re the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
You keep holding on
You keep holding on
Sorrow may last for the night
But hope is rising with the sun
Its rising with the sun
There will be storms in this life
But I know You will overcome
When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You´re the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find You mighty and strong
You keep holding on
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Man is Without Excuse
Have you ever stopped to listen to the birds? Not just noted that one really strange bird chirp that catches your ear, but really stopped and set your ears and mind fully on the sounds? As I sat on the front porch swing early this morning, the cold air on my neck, the sun beginning to peep over the silhouette of tall pines, I listened intently to the birds. I was shocked. There had to have been at least a dozen different bird chirps! They were all so unique and lovely, but it made me wonder why God created birds to chirp. Honestly, I see no reason other than he's a loving God who wanted to give us an earth full of things to enjoy. Bird chirping seems pointless when you think about it. But the fact that God thought so much about how humans would experience the earth and made it for our pleasure practically brings me to my knees. As I sat there, looking across the street to the orange reflection in a pond surrounded by bright yellow flowers, I realized that man is without excuse.
"For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse." Romans 1:20
Really, how in the world can a person seriously consider creation and not believe in God. Creation is so full of intricate details, it is impossible that there is not a Creator holding all things together. The fact is, people either busy themselves so that they never have time to seriously consider nature or anything spiritual or they have seen the complexity of nature and simply reject God. I have a friend who is totally fascinated with nature. I mean, more intrigued and interested in nature than anyone I've ever met. And still he is not a Christian. I'm pretty sure he knows deep down inside of him that there has to be a Creator, but he has simply rejected him. I will keep praying for him and asking the Lord to soften his heart to surrender. But scripture says he is without excuse. Creation screams praise to it's Creator! We are stupid not to acknowledge a Savior after spending time outdoors.
"The heavens proclaim the glory of God; the skies display his craftiness. Day after day they continue to speak; night after night they make him known. They speak without a sound or word; their voice is never heard. Yet their message has gone throughout the earth, their words to all the world." Psalm 19:1-4
"For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse." Romans 1:20
Really, how in the world can a person seriously consider creation and not believe in God. Creation is so full of intricate details, it is impossible that there is not a Creator holding all things together. The fact is, people either busy themselves so that they never have time to seriously consider nature or anything spiritual or they have seen the complexity of nature and simply reject God. I have a friend who is totally fascinated with nature. I mean, more intrigued and interested in nature than anyone I've ever met. And still he is not a Christian. I'm pretty sure he knows deep down inside of him that there has to be a Creator, but he has simply rejected him. I will keep praying for him and asking the Lord to soften his heart to surrender. But scripture says he is without excuse. Creation screams praise to it's Creator! We are stupid not to acknowledge a Savior after spending time outdoors.
"The heavens proclaim the glory of God; the skies display his craftiness. Day after day they continue to speak; night after night they make him known. They speak without a sound or word; their voice is never heard. Yet their message has gone throughout the earth, their words to all the world." Psalm 19:1-4
Saturday, March 27, 2010
A Day at the State Park...Alone.
Today I went to the State Park - alone. After much effort and no success to get others to come along, I decided to kayak and hike by myself. If you know me at all you know that I do not like to do anything alone. In my opinion, any activity, chore, trip, job, or errand is always better with someone at your side. It is true that I'm an extrovert and gain energy from being with people. But today, as I paddled around the lake and hiked up and down Texas-sized hills by myself, I realized that I have an almost unhealthy need to be with another human being constantly.
Obviously, God created us for community. We need each other! The very nature of God is one of companionship...the Trinity. But it's come to the point that I cannot be by myself for two seconds or I go crazy! This is not good.
So today, I went to the State Park - alone. I tried to focus on the birds chirping, the wind blowing my hair, the sun warming my skin, the smell of fresh pine needles, the sound of crunching leaves, and the taste of a sweet apple and mozzarella cheese stick. In the silence, I found that my head was full of distracting thoughts and was incapable of being quiet for even one second. If anything was accomplished today it was this - I got to enjoy the incredible beauty of the Creator, realize that I have an unhealthy need to be with people all the time, and recognize all the thoughts that are holding me back from freedom and focus. The victory seems small and nearly meaningless, but I believe the Lord is doing his work in my heart slowly and gently. Praise him for his patient and loving discipline and pruning. It's hard, but so worth it!
While I was out there I read 1 Corinthians 2.
10 But it was to us that God revealed these things by his Spirit. For his Spirit searches out everything and shows us God’s deep secrets. 11 No one can know a person’s thoughts except that person’s own spirit, and no one can know God’s thoughts except God’s own Spirit. 12 And we have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us.
How I long to know the deep secrets of God! How I yearn to know his heart and understand his ways! But these verses tell me that it is impossible to know God's thoughts without his spirit. Unless his Spirit lives in me, I can never know the things of God. This sounds to me like the Holy Spirit is absolutely important in walking as a Christian. I don't know why, but that was a light bulb moment for me. I have been seeking love, not the lover. Seeking perfection, not the perfector of my soul. Seeking health, not the healer. Seeking peace, not the giver of peace. Seeking encouragement, not the encourager.
I have been seeking to have better behaviors instead of seeking Jesus! And when we seek only the behaviors, we end up empty, broken, failed, and defeated. I must seek Jesus, not spiritual practices or behaviors. Those are void of meaning, life, and love. Jesus is the only one who can give purpose, abundant life, and unfailing love.
Anyways, I am just rambling now. But today was a good day. Full of realizations and revelations. Now to soak those up and let them transform me.
Jesus, you have taught me new things today! Thank you! Please place them like a seal upon my heart and let them change me from the inside out. I want to know YOU, not just about you. I want to be in love with you, not just follow you because it's the right thing to do. Take me deeper, Jesus. Take me deeper. Amen.
Obviously, God created us for community. We need each other! The very nature of God is one of companionship...the Trinity. But it's come to the point that I cannot be by myself for two seconds or I go crazy! This is not good.
So today, I went to the State Park - alone. I tried to focus on the birds chirping, the wind blowing my hair, the sun warming my skin, the smell of fresh pine needles, the sound of crunching leaves, and the taste of a sweet apple and mozzarella cheese stick. In the silence, I found that my head was full of distracting thoughts and was incapable of being quiet for even one second. If anything was accomplished today it was this - I got to enjoy the incredible beauty of the Creator, realize that I have an unhealthy need to be with people all the time, and recognize all the thoughts that are holding me back from freedom and focus. The victory seems small and nearly meaningless, but I believe the Lord is doing his work in my heart slowly and gently. Praise him for his patient and loving discipline and pruning. It's hard, but so worth it!
While I was out there I read 1 Corinthians 2.
10 But it was to us that God revealed these things by his Spirit. For his Spirit searches out everything and shows us God’s deep secrets. 11 No one can know a person’s thoughts except that person’s own spirit, and no one can know God’s thoughts except God’s own Spirit. 12 And we have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us.
How I long to know the deep secrets of God! How I yearn to know his heart and understand his ways! But these verses tell me that it is impossible to know God's thoughts without his spirit. Unless his Spirit lives in me, I can never know the things of God. This sounds to me like the Holy Spirit is absolutely important in walking as a Christian. I don't know why, but that was a light bulb moment for me. I have been seeking love, not the lover. Seeking perfection, not the perfector of my soul. Seeking health, not the healer. Seeking peace, not the giver of peace. Seeking encouragement, not the encourager.
I have been seeking to have better behaviors instead of seeking Jesus! And when we seek only the behaviors, we end up empty, broken, failed, and defeated. I must seek Jesus, not spiritual practices or behaviors. Those are void of meaning, life, and love. Jesus is the only one who can give purpose, abundant life, and unfailing love.
Anyways, I am just rambling now. But today was a good day. Full of realizations and revelations. Now to soak those up and let them transform me.
Jesus, you have taught me new things today! Thank you! Please place them like a seal upon my heart and let them change me from the inside out. I want to know YOU, not just about you. I want to be in love with you, not just follow you because it's the right thing to do. Take me deeper, Jesus. Take me deeper. Amen.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Pneuma (ancient Greek) = breath, wind, or spirit
Wow, it's been a whirlwind week! And by whirlwind I mean the Spirit has been on the move. His breath has given me life; his wind has blown me to the heights; his peace has settled inside of me again.
How could I have forgotten your spirit, God? How empty I've been feeling without him. All you wanted from me was to acknowledge you. Why, you are a jealous God. You want to be famous, known, and talked about. But the jealousy you have for your name is perfect...absolutely perfect. And so, I'll live to proclaim your name! I want you to be famous! Your name and your renown is my desire!
I don't know exactly what happened, but something inside of me shifted. The heaviness, depression, and burden I felt is gone! Praise Jesus! I think part of it is that God finally revealed to me clearly what happened with Australia and it brought tremendous closure. I feel like I can move on and begin the healing process for good. A door has been opened, and I am bounding through it!
Well, I suppose I could write all the details of what has happened in the past two weeks, but I'd rather let it rest and write about what I learned today.
you don't go to Smart-Mouth College.
2-3 Instead you thrill to God's Word,
you chew on Scripture day and night.
You're a tree replanted in Eden,
bearing fresh fruit every month,
Never dropping a leaf,
always in blossom.
4-5 You're not at all like the wicked,
who are mere windblown dust—
Without defense in court,
unfit company for innocent people.
6 God charts the road you take.
The road they take is Skid Row.
A couple of words and phrases calmed me like a refreshing breeze on a hot summer day.
"How well God must like you". I so needed to hear that and be reminded of his undying, passionate, faithful, unconditional, intimate, fatherly love!
"You thrill to God's word". Yesterday in my one-on-one mentoring session with my boss, I explained to her that I'm starting over, about to explode in growth, but as of today I'm not the woman I want to be. She asked me what type of woman I want to be. Good question. I want to be a woman with a quiet and gentle spirit, a servant, passionate for the Lord's name and madly in love with him again, humble and compassionate, an intercessor, encourager, and a woman of the word. I particularly want to be a woman of the word. She then asked me what I was doing, what strategy I had, in order to become that woman. Another good question. That's where I'm at. Asking the Lord what strategy he wants me to take to become more like him. I have a few ideas and I'm excited to begin that journey.
"...bearing fresh fruit every month". This is an easily skipped over part of this chapter in my opinion. When I stopped and thought about the process of growing fruit and the fact that it takes a whole month to bear fresh fruit, it made me cringe and groan just a bit. A month seems like forever to me! If I were a tree, I can imagine that the act of producing fruit is just a bit painful and requires much patience. And this is an important lesson that the Lord has been faithfully trying to teach me the past 23 years of my life. Patience. Many great things are birthed out of patient endurance, hard work, discipline, and more patience. But I so badly want that fruit at the end of every month!
"God charts the road you take". For some reason I got it into my head that I make things happen. For instance, I thought that I would be able to get to Australia by my own strength. I could raise the money, I could get a visa, I could do the missions training, I could build relationships with my team mates, I could get a job, etc. But you know what, at the end of the day, my strength to accomplish comes to squat! As much as I love freewill, there is some aspect of the Gospel that is clear about God's will leading and guiding us. Of course, we choose to follow him or not. However, if we do choose to follow Jesus, then we have surrendered our own plans and decided to join his. And he is a light unto our path. I don't know about you, but I find great peace in knowing that God charts my road. I think he's a bit smarter than I when it comes to making decisions and I would rather be on his road than mine anyday.
Jesus, thank you for speaking to me through your word today. Thank you for reigniting a passion and desire in my heart for your truths. I long to know you and your life-giving words more and more. Please keep me strong and discipline my heart. I want purity, holiness, and passion. I love you!
How could I have forgotten your spirit, God? How empty I've been feeling without him. All you wanted from me was to acknowledge you. Why, you are a jealous God. You want to be famous, known, and talked about. But the jealousy you have for your name is perfect...absolutely perfect. And so, I'll live to proclaim your name! I want you to be famous! Your name and your renown is my desire!
I don't know exactly what happened, but something inside of me shifted. The heaviness, depression, and burden I felt is gone! Praise Jesus! I think part of it is that God finally revealed to me clearly what happened with Australia and it brought tremendous closure. I feel like I can move on and begin the healing process for good. A door has been opened, and I am bounding through it!
Well, I suppose I could write all the details of what has happened in the past two weeks, but I'd rather let it rest and write about what I learned today.
Psalm 1
1How well God must like you— you don't hang out at Sin Saloon, you don't slink along Dead-End Road,you don't go to Smart-Mouth College.
2-3 Instead you thrill to God's Word,
you chew on Scripture day and night.
You're a tree replanted in Eden,
bearing fresh fruit every month,
Never dropping a leaf,
always in blossom.
4-5 You're not at all like the wicked,
who are mere windblown dust—
Without defense in court,
unfit company for innocent people.
6 God charts the road you take.
The road they take is Skid Row.
A couple of words and phrases calmed me like a refreshing breeze on a hot summer day.
"How well God must like you". I so needed to hear that and be reminded of his undying, passionate, faithful, unconditional, intimate, fatherly love!
"You thrill to God's word". Yesterday in my one-on-one mentoring session with my boss, I explained to her that I'm starting over, about to explode in growth, but as of today I'm not the woman I want to be. She asked me what type of woman I want to be. Good question. I want to be a woman with a quiet and gentle spirit, a servant, passionate for the Lord's name and madly in love with him again, humble and compassionate, an intercessor, encourager, and a woman of the word. I particularly want to be a woman of the word. She then asked me what I was doing, what strategy I had, in order to become that woman. Another good question. That's where I'm at. Asking the Lord what strategy he wants me to take to become more like him. I have a few ideas and I'm excited to begin that journey.
"...bearing fresh fruit every month". This is an easily skipped over part of this chapter in my opinion. When I stopped and thought about the process of growing fruit and the fact that it takes a whole month to bear fresh fruit, it made me cringe and groan just a bit. A month seems like forever to me! If I were a tree, I can imagine that the act of producing fruit is just a bit painful and requires much patience. And this is an important lesson that the Lord has been faithfully trying to teach me the past 23 years of my life. Patience. Many great things are birthed out of patient endurance, hard work, discipline, and more patience. But I so badly want that fruit at the end of every month!
"God charts the road you take". For some reason I got it into my head that I make things happen. For instance, I thought that I would be able to get to Australia by my own strength. I could raise the money, I could get a visa, I could do the missions training, I could build relationships with my team mates, I could get a job, etc. But you know what, at the end of the day, my strength to accomplish comes to squat! As much as I love freewill, there is some aspect of the Gospel that is clear about God's will leading and guiding us. Of course, we choose to follow him or not. However, if we do choose to follow Jesus, then we have surrendered our own plans and decided to join his. And he is a light unto our path. I don't know about you, but I find great peace in knowing that God charts my road. I think he's a bit smarter than I when it comes to making decisions and I would rather be on his road than mine anyday.
Jesus, thank you for speaking to me through your word today. Thank you for reigniting a passion and desire in my heart for your truths. I long to know you and your life-giving words more and more. Please keep me strong and discipline my heart. I want purity, holiness, and passion. I love you!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Just Reminding Myself...
So, it's 1:13am and I do not have time to even bullet point the amazing things God has done in my life this past week. So this message is basically a list of things for myself so I will not forget to write about anything. I'll write more tomorrow hopefully.
1. Realization of brokenness last Sunday
2. Sunday school- 1 John 4- no fear in love
3. talk with Mom- good advice- step away from new friends, spend time with Jesus in prayer and scripture
4. running away, afraid to be alone
5. email from friend (guard your heart above all things Proverbs 4:23)
6. breakthrough-need healing
7. sw
1. Realization of brokenness last Sunday
2. Sunday school- 1 John 4- no fear in love
3. talk with Mom- good advice- step away from new friends, spend time with Jesus in prayer and scripture
4. running away, afraid to be alone
5. email from friend (guard your heart above all things Proverbs 4:23)
6. breakthrough-need healing
7. sw
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Not by human wisdom, but by the power of God.
Today was a lovely day! I got off work early, grabbed my park blanket, laid in the sun, and read.
I read 1 Corinthians 1-2 today and had a small revelation.
I realized that it is only by the grace of God that we, as humans, even have the capacity to believe and have faith. Our own knowledge and emotion cannot be depended upon to motivate us to remain faithful to Jesus, only the wisdom and power of God can overcome.
Paul says that he was not called to baptize, but to proclaim the gospel. He proclaimed the gospel not with eloquent wisdom, so that the cross of Christ might be emptied of its power. In other words, if it is only by eloquent words that a person is persuaded to believe in Jesus, it would not be real belief.
Paul says that the Jews demanded signs and the Greeks desired wisdom. Which one are you? Are you a person who is always looking for the next spiritual high, emotional experience, or powerful vision in order to remain a believer? Or are you one who seeks knowledge; to be able to prove everything and know it with all certainty. Either way, our minds and our hearts deceive and fail us.
Unfortunately, Paul lets us know that Christ crucified is a stumbling block to those who seek knowledge and proof and foolishness to those who seek emotional experiences. A person cannot stand firm in their belief simply because they have all the facts and proof about the Cross. Eventually their knowledge will fail them. A person cannot stand on faith if all they rely on are experiences. Eventually they will have an experience that leads them to something other than God.
No, in fact, we do not even have the capacity to believe and have faith in Jesus Christ without the power and wisdom of God. Without God's wisdom and power we would eventually give up. We would give in to our flesh and follow the ways of this world.
If all we depend on is intellect or emotion to remain faithful to God....we will fail. We have to depend on God to remain faithful to God.
No amount of knowledge or experience can make you believe in Jesus Christ. Only by the grace of God.
Paul writes in verse 4-5, "my speech and my proclamation were not with plausible words of wisdom, but with a demonstration of the spirit and of power, so that your faith might rest not on human wisdom but on the power of God".
God, will you give me grace so I will be capable of believing, trusting, and having faith in your Son? I know I cannot rely on my experiences or my intellect to keep my faith strong. I've tried to believe in my own power so many times and I always fall. I need your wisdom and your power. Teach me your ways, oh my King. I am so in love with you.
I read 1 Corinthians 1-2 today and had a small revelation.
I realized that it is only by the grace of God that we, as humans, even have the capacity to believe and have faith. Our own knowledge and emotion cannot be depended upon to motivate us to remain faithful to Jesus, only the wisdom and power of God can overcome.
Paul says that he was not called to baptize, but to proclaim the gospel. He proclaimed the gospel not with eloquent wisdom, so that the cross of Christ might be emptied of its power. In other words, if it is only by eloquent words that a person is persuaded to believe in Jesus, it would not be real belief.
Paul says that the Jews demanded signs and the Greeks desired wisdom. Which one are you? Are you a person who is always looking for the next spiritual high, emotional experience, or powerful vision in order to remain a believer? Or are you one who seeks knowledge; to be able to prove everything and know it with all certainty. Either way, our minds and our hearts deceive and fail us.
Unfortunately, Paul lets us know that Christ crucified is a stumbling block to those who seek knowledge and proof and foolishness to those who seek emotional experiences. A person cannot stand firm in their belief simply because they have all the facts and proof about the Cross. Eventually their knowledge will fail them. A person cannot stand on faith if all they rely on are experiences. Eventually they will have an experience that leads them to something other than God.
No, in fact, we do not even have the capacity to believe and have faith in Jesus Christ without the power and wisdom of God. Without God's wisdom and power we would eventually give up. We would give in to our flesh and follow the ways of this world.
If all we depend on is intellect or emotion to remain faithful to God....we will fail. We have to depend on God to remain faithful to God.
No amount of knowledge or experience can make you believe in Jesus Christ. Only by the grace of God.
Paul writes in verse 4-5, "my speech and my proclamation were not with plausible words of wisdom, but with a demonstration of the spirit and of power, so that your faith might rest not on human wisdom but on the power of God".
God, will you give me grace so I will be capable of believing, trusting, and having faith in your Son? I know I cannot rely on my experiences or my intellect to keep my faith strong. I've tried to believe in my own power so many times and I always fall. I need your wisdom and your power. Teach me your ways, oh my King. I am so in love with you.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
I Commit You To God
I've recently made a friend. We have a lot in common and have enjoyed spending time playing disc golf, hiking, taking photos of creation, and listening to the birds. I have enjoyed his friendship so much and feel honored to know him. However, once I started getting to know him better, I learned that he has recently left the church and closed the Bible in order to "give up control" and get some things figured out. Something tragic happened to two people he dearly loved and he has never been the same since. This event caused him to question everything he once believed and to begin to distrust God. After several conversations about this, my heart grew so heavy that I thought it would fall out of my body through my feet. Many tears have been shed over his lost faith and the look of sadness in his eyes.
A part of Pine Cove (where I am now so thankfully and happily a full-time employee!!!) tradition is to have weekly "one-on-ones" with your boss. It is a time for you to share what's going on in your life and also discuss any questions or concerns you have about work related issues. It is a safe place and guarded by confidentiality. I had my first one-on-one today with a women that is beyond amazing. She is truly a woman after God's own heart. I shared with her my heart for this young man and she gave me some extremely wise advice. She said that people either accept God or they reject God. There is no middle ground. She said that what this young man might be doing is using the tragedy he has experienced as a screen to hide the fact that he is angry at God and is rejecting him. She encouraged me that I can do nothing but pray, love him, and be there as a friend. She said it's between him and God and at the end of it all, he's the one who decides if he's for or against God. She challenged me to step away, let God have him, and just pray.
That led me to a hard place. I want to be the person that says the one thing that changes his life forever. I want to be the person that loves him unconditionally and leads him back to Jesus. I want to be the person who sits and listens as he hashes things out. I want to be the person who speaks truth into his life and gets him to surrender. However, while I do love him and want him to know Jesus, part of the reason is pride. I want to control him. I want to play God. I want to heal, help, and mend him. But I can't. Only the Father is the healer, mender, helper.
Today as I picked up my Bible it fell open to Acts 20. I read down to verse 32 and broke down in tears.
"Now I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified."
And so, with tears running down my face, as I again realized my pride, I surrendered my friend to Jesus' hands. Although I love him and want to help, I am not God. I can pray; and that I will do as often as I can. But ONLY God can build him up and give him an inheritance.
A part of Pine Cove (where I am now so thankfully and happily a full-time employee!!!) tradition is to have weekly "one-on-ones" with your boss. It is a time for you to share what's going on in your life and also discuss any questions or concerns you have about work related issues. It is a safe place and guarded by confidentiality. I had my first one-on-one today with a women that is beyond amazing. She is truly a woman after God's own heart. I shared with her my heart for this young man and she gave me some extremely wise advice. She said that people either accept God or they reject God. There is no middle ground. She said that what this young man might be doing is using the tragedy he has experienced as a screen to hide the fact that he is angry at God and is rejecting him. She encouraged me that I can do nothing but pray, love him, and be there as a friend. She said it's between him and God and at the end of it all, he's the one who decides if he's for or against God. She challenged me to step away, let God have him, and just pray.
That led me to a hard place. I want to be the person that says the one thing that changes his life forever. I want to be the person that loves him unconditionally and leads him back to Jesus. I want to be the person who sits and listens as he hashes things out. I want to be the person who speaks truth into his life and gets him to surrender. However, while I do love him and want him to know Jesus, part of the reason is pride. I want to control him. I want to play God. I want to heal, help, and mend him. But I can't. Only the Father is the healer, mender, helper.
Today as I picked up my Bible it fell open to Acts 20. I read down to verse 32 and broke down in tears.
"Now I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified."
And so, with tears running down my face, as I again realized my pride, I surrendered my friend to Jesus' hands. Although I love him and want to help, I am not God. I can pray; and that I will do as often as I can. But ONLY God can build him up and give him an inheritance.
Monday, February 8, 2010
1 Thessalonians
I am always so amazed when all the little random things I've been learning all of the sudden come together in a light bulb moment. It's so beautiful how God orchestrates our surroundings to remind us and emphasize things he wants to teach us.
1 Thess. 5:16-18:
Rejoice always
Pray continually
Give thanks in all circumstances
For this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
I've noticed recently how so many of us are always asking for God's will.
God, is your will for me to take this job, move to this city, make these friends, get involved with this congregation? God, I want to do your will.
We basically ask him to tell us exactly what to do.
When I was praying about going to Australia versus not going to Australia, I learned this lesson from Colossians 3:17.
"WHATEVER you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
As I prayed and asked for God's will, to go or not to go, he simply said....
"You decide."
That was NOT the answer I wanted.
But in his sweet, loving, gentle voice he reminded me that I can serve him there or here. He told me that it really didn't matter what I chose, as long as I did it for his name.
The important thing was not the location or the work, but the motive.
And Thessalonians says the same exact thing!
Whatever circumstance you are in- rejoice, pray, and give thanks.
That is God's will!
How simple!
So when I go to God and ask him if it's his will to do this or that, I need to remember that if it is for him, and through him, and makes his name famous, then it is his will.
Jesus, is it your will for me to stay in Tyler? To go to Haiti? To go to Bethel? To work at Pine Cove? Etc.....
If you rejoice, pray, give thanks, and do those things in my name....then YES.
Wheph, that gives me so much peace and relief. It releases me to stop worrying so much about doing his will that I miss the opportunities right in front of me to rejoice, pray, give thanks, and work in His Name.
And so now, I'm going to go clean my room, get my medical records sent off, and do some random chores while rejoicing, praying, and giving thanks....so that Jesus is glorified!
1 Thess. 5:16-18:
Rejoice always
Pray continually
Give thanks in all circumstances
For this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
I've noticed recently how so many of us are always asking for God's will.
God, is your will for me to take this job, move to this city, make these friends, get involved with this congregation? God, I want to do your will.
We basically ask him to tell us exactly what to do.
When I was praying about going to Australia versus not going to Australia, I learned this lesson from Colossians 3:17.
"WHATEVER you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
As I prayed and asked for God's will, to go or not to go, he simply said....
"You decide."
That was NOT the answer I wanted.
But in his sweet, loving, gentle voice he reminded me that I can serve him there or here. He told me that it really didn't matter what I chose, as long as I did it for his name.
The important thing was not the location or the work, but the motive.
And Thessalonians says the same exact thing!
Whatever circumstance you are in- rejoice, pray, and give thanks.
That is God's will!
How simple!
So when I go to God and ask him if it's his will to do this or that, I need to remember that if it is for him, and through him, and makes his name famous, then it is his will.
Jesus, is it your will for me to stay in Tyler? To go to Haiti? To go to Bethel? To work at Pine Cove? Etc.....
If you rejoice, pray, give thanks, and do those things in my name....then YES.
Wheph, that gives me so much peace and relief. It releases me to stop worrying so much about doing his will that I miss the opportunities right in front of me to rejoice, pray, give thanks, and work in His Name.
And so now, I'm going to go clean my room, get my medical records sent off, and do some random chores while rejoicing, praying, and giving thanks....so that Jesus is glorified!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Nothing like Colossians to bring a down day up!
Today was a day when I just felt down.
Ever have those days?
They come when you least expect them; like after a really good day. And they come for no specific reason.
They steal your joy. They taunt you. They laugh in your face. They bring up all the things you want that you cannot have. They bring up all the things you have that you do not want. They take away your passion and energy.
Well, I was having one of those days until...
"For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."
"Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation.."
"In Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority. "
"God has made you alive in Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge for our legal indeptedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross. And having made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross."
"We are God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved..."
"And be thankful."
Okay, so my day is not so down anymore. :)
Ever have those days?
They come when you least expect them; like after a really good day. And they come for no specific reason.
They steal your joy. They taunt you. They laugh in your face. They bring up all the things you want that you cannot have. They bring up all the things you have that you do not want. They take away your passion and energy.
Well, I was having one of those days until...
"For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."
"Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation.."
"In Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority. "
"God has made you alive in Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge for our legal indeptedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross. And having made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross."
"We are God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved..."
"And be thankful."
Okay, so my day is not so down anymore. :)
Monday, February 1, 2010
Philippians goodness...
Today I read Philippians. It's lovely!
Words that stuck out to me...
Partnership in the Gospel
May your love abound more in knowledge and depth of insight, so you are able to discern what is best
What does it matter? The important thing is that Christ is preached!
Strive together with one accord for the faith of the Gospel, without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you.
"God works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." 2:13
That verse leads me to ask this question: What is his good purpose?
As I sit and thought and asked for wisdom to understand, all I heard was...
LOVE.
God's good purpose is to LOVE us and use us to LOVE others.
Simply LOVE.
"For as I have often told you before and now tell you again, even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ." 3:18
Am I moved to tears because people don't know Christ?
"Forgetting what is behind.." 3:13
Jesus, help me forget what is behind.
Help me receive your GRACE.
"And we eagerly await a Savior..." 3:20
Do I awake each morning and live each afternoon and lay down each night in eagerness to meet my Savior?
Jesus, teach me these things. May my love abound more in knowledge and depth of insight. Place these truths like a seal upon my heart so that they will transform my life. Teach me your ways oh Lord.
Oh, how I love you!
Words that stuck out to me...
Partnership in the Gospel
May your love abound more in knowledge and depth of insight, so you are able to discern what is best
What does it matter? The important thing is that Christ is preached!
Strive together with one accord for the faith of the Gospel, without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you.
"God works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." 2:13
That verse leads me to ask this question: What is his good purpose?
As I sit and thought and asked for wisdom to understand, all I heard was...
LOVE.
God's good purpose is to LOVE us and use us to LOVE others.
Simply LOVE.
"For as I have often told you before and now tell you again, even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ." 3:18
Am I moved to tears because people don't know Christ?
"Forgetting what is behind.." 3:13
Jesus, help me forget what is behind.
Help me receive your GRACE.
"And we eagerly await a Savior..." 3:20
Do I awake each morning and live each afternoon and lay down each night in eagerness to meet my Savior?
Jesus, teach me these things. May my love abound more in knowledge and depth of insight. Place these truths like a seal upon my heart so that they will transform my life. Teach me your ways oh Lord.
Oh, how I love you!
Saturday, January 30, 2010
By the Will of God...
I recently decided to read through an epistle each day. I tell you what, it is hard to read through an entire epistle in one sitting because I want to stop at every sentence and soak it in! Each sentence is a life-changing revelation that takes a whole week to really grasp! But I decided to read the whole thing to get the big picture, then go back and study verse-by-verse.
Today I read Ephesians.
A couple of things really jumped out and struck me in the depths of my soul.
The very first verse...
"Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God..."
By the will of God...
Paul was an apostle, not because he chose that, but because by God's grace he was allowed. Only because of Christ's death and resurrection was Paul able to become an apostle, carry God's name,
and preach hope to the Gentiles.
So then my introduction would go something like this....
Jenica, a daughter and disciple of Christ Jesus, only by God's will, grace, and abundant love.
Wow, that really makes me remember that my very existence is because God wills it! I am left humbled and in awe of my King! Thank you for letting me live and be a part of your Kingdom! How trusting you are, my Savior, to let me carry your name! Help me to wear it with confidence and joy!
The second thing that stuck out to me was chapter 3 verse 10 and 11.
"His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, according to his eternal purpose that he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Through the Church...
If we ever forget what the purpose of the Church is, this verse will remind us! The Church is supposed to make known the manifold wisdom of God in the heavenly realms. We are meant to shift the heavens! The Church can pray for God to rend the heavens. We can call on his name to come, rescue, save, redeem, restore, and give life! The Church reminds Satan of God's wisdom, strength, power, and might! We, the body of Christ, have the power to defeat and destroy Satan! Wow.
I don't know about you, but I could write pages upon pages about all the amazing things I read in Ephesians today. It is a wonderful book full of truth and power.
And I'll leave you with a couple of verses to ponder....
5:10 "Live as children of light and find out what pleases the Lord."
5:15 "Be very careful, then, how you live- not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."
6:10 "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his might power."
6:24 "Grace to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love."
Today I read Ephesians.
A couple of things really jumped out and struck me in the depths of my soul.
The very first verse...
"Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God..."
By the will of God...
Paul was an apostle, not because he chose that, but because by God's grace he was allowed. Only because of Christ's death and resurrection was Paul able to become an apostle, carry God's name,
and preach hope to the Gentiles.
So then my introduction would go something like this....
Jenica, a daughter and disciple of Christ Jesus, only by God's will, grace, and abundant love.
Wow, that really makes me remember that my very existence is because God wills it! I am left humbled and in awe of my King! Thank you for letting me live and be a part of your Kingdom! How trusting you are, my Savior, to let me carry your name! Help me to wear it with confidence and joy!
The second thing that stuck out to me was chapter 3 verse 10 and 11.
"His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, according to his eternal purpose that he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Through the Church...
If we ever forget what the purpose of the Church is, this verse will remind us! The Church is supposed to make known the manifold wisdom of God in the heavenly realms. We are meant to shift the heavens! The Church can pray for God to rend the heavens. We can call on his name to come, rescue, save, redeem, restore, and give life! The Church reminds Satan of God's wisdom, strength, power, and might! We, the body of Christ, have the power to defeat and destroy Satan! Wow.
I don't know about you, but I could write pages upon pages about all the amazing things I read in Ephesians today. It is a wonderful book full of truth and power.
And I'll leave you with a couple of verses to ponder....
5:10 "Live as children of light and find out what pleases the Lord."
5:15 "Be very careful, then, how you live- not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."
6:10 "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his might power."
6:24 "Grace to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love."
Friday, January 29, 2010
I Was Made for Loving You
I've always wanted to be a writer. Most writers have a specific audience, topic, or object they write to or about. Some people write for women or children. Some people write about theology, history, philosophy, gardening, cooking, or health. Others simply write about the daily occurrences in their lives. Most people, however, write about what they value, what they are passionate about, what stirs their soul.
As I sit here and think about what stirs my soul, what makes me giggle with joy, cry with empathy, and live with reckless abandonment, I am moved to only one conclusion.....
Jesus Christ.
However, I realize that I have been valuing people, accomplishment, personal recognition, health, and happiness more than I value the Gospel.
The moment I realize I do not feel a deep desperate need for my Savior...
an intense longing to be united with Him...
a burning inside that makes me want to scream...
a simple realization that I am nothing with out Him...
a peaceful joy knowing I am loved and treasured by my Maker...
When I realize these thoughts and feelings no longer take part in me on a regular basis...
That's when I know I need to sit...
be still...
know that He is God...
listen...
let him romance me...
and pursue my heart...
to surrender...
confess...
repent...
seek his face...
read his promises...
be reminded of truth...
set my affections on him...
take my eyes off myself...
take my eyes off the world...
take my eyes off of others...
put my eyes on him...
let him captivate me again...
accept his grace and love...
be humbled...
broken...
set apart...
made holy...
renewed...
restored and redeemed...
believe...
And this is where I'm at.
In need of renewal, humility, to be broken, to be restored, and to fall in love again.
Oh God, awaken in me a passion for your name again! I long to desire you like I used to. But I have strayed. I have sought the things of this world. I have lived for my own selfish pride.
And I am left laying on the floor...
defeated...
distracted...
discouraged...
And I am reminded that your grace is sufficient for all.
Even me.
Thank you my sweet Jesus.
As I sit here and think about what stirs my soul, what makes me giggle with joy, cry with empathy, and live with reckless abandonment, I am moved to only one conclusion.....
Jesus Christ.
However, I realize that I have been valuing people, accomplishment, personal recognition, health, and happiness more than I value the Gospel.
The moment I realize I do not feel a deep desperate need for my Savior...
an intense longing to be united with Him...
a burning inside that makes me want to scream...
a simple realization that I am nothing with out Him...
a peaceful joy knowing I am loved and treasured by my Maker...
When I realize these thoughts and feelings no longer take part in me on a regular basis...
That's when I know I need to sit...
be still...
know that He is God...
listen...
let him romance me...
and pursue my heart...
to surrender...
confess...
repent...
seek his face...
read his promises...
be reminded of truth...
set my affections on him...
take my eyes off myself...
take my eyes off the world...
take my eyes off of others...
put my eyes on him...
let him captivate me again...
accept his grace and love...
be humbled...
broken...
set apart...
made holy...
renewed...
restored and redeemed...
believe...
And this is where I'm at.
In need of renewal, humility, to be broken, to be restored, and to fall in love again.
Oh God, awaken in me a passion for your name again! I long to desire you like I used to. But I have strayed. I have sought the things of this world. I have lived for my own selfish pride.
And I am left laying on the floor...
defeated...
distracted...
discouraged...
And I am reminded that your grace is sufficient for all.
Even me.
Thank you my sweet Jesus.
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