Promises

God,

I’m overwhelmed right now. I’ve got boxes upon boxes and more coming tomorrow to price and sort. Then there are custom t-shirt orders, the web store, and the entire problem inventory to work through.

On top of that, I’m spiritually, emotionally, and physically exhausted.

I haven't had time to process anything that's happened in the past week emotionally. I did not get a weekend because of work. My faith is a big blur in my head and I don’t have anything to cling to. I feel like I’m dangling over a ledge and not sure what to grab onto. Nothing is secure. I’m on the verge of crying every moment. I don’t know if I love you or hate you. I don’t know if I should focus on becoming more patient, loving, servant hearted, or what. I feel like there are too many aspects of my heart that needs to be rebuilt and I don’t know where to place my focus. There are too many topics that need to be studied and understood and I don’t know where to begin.

I don’t know what to fight for and what to surrender. I don’t know what’s too far and what’s not enough. I don’t know what to stand up for and what to let go. I’m a mess.

So I just sit, too overwhelmed to get anything started. I place all my focus on work and I’m stressed out.

I feel like I need an entire week to just sit and be with you. But I don’t have the time or the energy.

I have laundry to get done, bills to be paid, people to call and get caught up with, work to be done, boxes to unload and price and sort, orders to fill, phone calls and emails to return. That’s not even my personal life.

Then there are friendships to maintain, my family to spend time with, time to relax, shower, and work out.

There is not enough time to sit and pray and read.

God, what do you want me to focus on? I don’t have enough time for work, friends, family, and self. I cannot sleep, workout, and keep myself healthy while hanging out all the time. Do you want me to build relationships or focus on myself? Do you want me home or out? Do you want me to work overtime to get things done? Do you want me to read or to pray or to walk or to write or to sing?



All I want to do is sleep. And cry. I’m so tired.



Give me strength. Give me rest. Give me peace.


"When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul." (Psalm 94:18-19)


"My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." (Exodus 33:14)

"My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life." (Psalm 119:50)

You said it. I believe it. You’re promises remain.