Have you ever stopped to listen to the birds? Not just noted that one really strange bird chirp that catches your ear, but really stopped and set your ears and mind fully on the sounds? As I sat on the front porch swing early this morning, the cold air on my neck, the sun beginning to peep over the silhouette of tall pines, I listened intently to the birds. I was shocked. There had to have been at least a dozen different bird chirps! They were all so unique and lovely, but it made me wonder why God created birds to chirp. Honestly, I see no reason other than he's a loving God who wanted to give us an earth full of things to enjoy. Bird chirping seems pointless when you think about it. But the fact that God thought so much about how humans would experience the earth and made it for our pleasure practically brings me to my knees. As I sat there, looking across the street to the orange reflection in a pond surrounded by bright yellow flowers, I realized that man is without excuse.
"For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse." Romans 1:20
Really, how in the world can a person seriously consider creation and not believe in God. Creation is so full of intricate details, it is impossible that there is not a Creator holding all things together. The fact is, people either busy themselves so that they never have time to seriously consider nature or anything spiritual or they have seen the complexity of nature and simply reject God. I have a friend who is totally fascinated with nature. I mean, more intrigued and interested in nature than anyone I've ever met. And still he is not a Christian. I'm pretty sure he knows deep down inside of him that there has to be a Creator, but he has simply rejected him. I will keep praying for him and asking the Lord to soften his heart to surrender. But scripture says he is without excuse. Creation screams praise to it's Creator! We are stupid not to acknowledge a Savior after spending time outdoors.
"The heavens proclaim the glory of God; the skies display his craftiness. Day after day they continue to speak; night after night they make him known. They speak without a sound or word; their voice is never heard. Yet their message has gone throughout the earth, their words to all the world." Psalm 19:1-4
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
A Day at the State Park...Alone.
Today I went to the State Park - alone. After much effort and no success to get others to come along, I decided to kayak and hike by myself. If you know me at all you know that I do not like to do anything alone. In my opinion, any activity, chore, trip, job, or errand is always better with someone at your side. It is true that I'm an extrovert and gain energy from being with people. But today, as I paddled around the lake and hiked up and down Texas-sized hills by myself, I realized that I have an almost unhealthy need to be with another human being constantly.
Obviously, God created us for community. We need each other! The very nature of God is one of companionship...the Trinity. But it's come to the point that I cannot be by myself for two seconds or I go crazy! This is not good.
So today, I went to the State Park - alone. I tried to focus on the birds chirping, the wind blowing my hair, the sun warming my skin, the smell of fresh pine needles, the sound of crunching leaves, and the taste of a sweet apple and mozzarella cheese stick. In the silence, I found that my head was full of distracting thoughts and was incapable of being quiet for even one second. If anything was accomplished today it was this - I got to enjoy the incredible beauty of the Creator, realize that I have an unhealthy need to be with people all the time, and recognize all the thoughts that are holding me back from freedom and focus. The victory seems small and nearly meaningless, but I believe the Lord is doing his work in my heart slowly and gently. Praise him for his patient and loving discipline and pruning. It's hard, but so worth it!
While I was out there I read 1 Corinthians 2.
10 But it was to us that God revealed these things by his Spirit. For his Spirit searches out everything and shows us God’s deep secrets. 11 No one can know a person’s thoughts except that person’s own spirit, and no one can know God’s thoughts except God’s own Spirit. 12 And we have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us.
How I long to know the deep secrets of God! How I yearn to know his heart and understand his ways! But these verses tell me that it is impossible to know God's thoughts without his spirit. Unless his Spirit lives in me, I can never know the things of God. This sounds to me like the Holy Spirit is absolutely important in walking as a Christian. I don't know why, but that was a light bulb moment for me. I have been seeking love, not the lover. Seeking perfection, not the perfector of my soul. Seeking health, not the healer. Seeking peace, not the giver of peace. Seeking encouragement, not the encourager.
I have been seeking to have better behaviors instead of seeking Jesus! And when we seek only the behaviors, we end up empty, broken, failed, and defeated. I must seek Jesus, not spiritual practices or behaviors. Those are void of meaning, life, and love. Jesus is the only one who can give purpose, abundant life, and unfailing love.
Anyways, I am just rambling now. But today was a good day. Full of realizations and revelations. Now to soak those up and let them transform me.
Jesus, you have taught me new things today! Thank you! Please place them like a seal upon my heart and let them change me from the inside out. I want to know YOU, not just about you. I want to be in love with you, not just follow you because it's the right thing to do. Take me deeper, Jesus. Take me deeper. Amen.
Obviously, God created us for community. We need each other! The very nature of God is one of companionship...the Trinity. But it's come to the point that I cannot be by myself for two seconds or I go crazy! This is not good.
So today, I went to the State Park - alone. I tried to focus on the birds chirping, the wind blowing my hair, the sun warming my skin, the smell of fresh pine needles, the sound of crunching leaves, and the taste of a sweet apple and mozzarella cheese stick. In the silence, I found that my head was full of distracting thoughts and was incapable of being quiet for even one second. If anything was accomplished today it was this - I got to enjoy the incredible beauty of the Creator, realize that I have an unhealthy need to be with people all the time, and recognize all the thoughts that are holding me back from freedom and focus. The victory seems small and nearly meaningless, but I believe the Lord is doing his work in my heart slowly and gently. Praise him for his patient and loving discipline and pruning. It's hard, but so worth it!
While I was out there I read 1 Corinthians 2.
10 But it was to us that God revealed these things by his Spirit. For his Spirit searches out everything and shows us God’s deep secrets. 11 No one can know a person’s thoughts except that person’s own spirit, and no one can know God’s thoughts except God’s own Spirit. 12 And we have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us.
How I long to know the deep secrets of God! How I yearn to know his heart and understand his ways! But these verses tell me that it is impossible to know God's thoughts without his spirit. Unless his Spirit lives in me, I can never know the things of God. This sounds to me like the Holy Spirit is absolutely important in walking as a Christian. I don't know why, but that was a light bulb moment for me. I have been seeking love, not the lover. Seeking perfection, not the perfector of my soul. Seeking health, not the healer. Seeking peace, not the giver of peace. Seeking encouragement, not the encourager.
I have been seeking to have better behaviors instead of seeking Jesus! And when we seek only the behaviors, we end up empty, broken, failed, and defeated. I must seek Jesus, not spiritual practices or behaviors. Those are void of meaning, life, and love. Jesus is the only one who can give purpose, abundant life, and unfailing love.
Anyways, I am just rambling now. But today was a good day. Full of realizations and revelations. Now to soak those up and let them transform me.
Jesus, you have taught me new things today! Thank you! Please place them like a seal upon my heart and let them change me from the inside out. I want to know YOU, not just about you. I want to be in love with you, not just follow you because it's the right thing to do. Take me deeper, Jesus. Take me deeper. Amen.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Pneuma (ancient Greek) = breath, wind, or spirit
Wow, it's been a whirlwind week! And by whirlwind I mean the Spirit has been on the move. His breath has given me life; his wind has blown me to the heights; his peace has settled inside of me again.
How could I have forgotten your spirit, God? How empty I've been feeling without him. All you wanted from me was to acknowledge you. Why, you are a jealous God. You want to be famous, known, and talked about. But the jealousy you have for your name is perfect...absolutely perfect. And so, I'll live to proclaim your name! I want you to be famous! Your name and your renown is my desire!
I don't know exactly what happened, but something inside of me shifted. The heaviness, depression, and burden I felt is gone! Praise Jesus! I think part of it is that God finally revealed to me clearly what happened with Australia and it brought tremendous closure. I feel like I can move on and begin the healing process for good. A door has been opened, and I am bounding through it!
Well, I suppose I could write all the details of what has happened in the past two weeks, but I'd rather let it rest and write about what I learned today.
you don't go to Smart-Mouth College.
2-3 Instead you thrill to God's Word,
you chew on Scripture day and night.
You're a tree replanted in Eden,
bearing fresh fruit every month,
Never dropping a leaf,
always in blossom.
4-5 You're not at all like the wicked,
who are mere windblown dust—
Without defense in court,
unfit company for innocent people.
6 God charts the road you take.
The road they take is Skid Row.
A couple of words and phrases calmed me like a refreshing breeze on a hot summer day.
"How well God must like you". I so needed to hear that and be reminded of his undying, passionate, faithful, unconditional, intimate, fatherly love!
"You thrill to God's word". Yesterday in my one-on-one mentoring session with my boss, I explained to her that I'm starting over, about to explode in growth, but as of today I'm not the woman I want to be. She asked me what type of woman I want to be. Good question. I want to be a woman with a quiet and gentle spirit, a servant, passionate for the Lord's name and madly in love with him again, humble and compassionate, an intercessor, encourager, and a woman of the word. I particularly want to be a woman of the word. She then asked me what I was doing, what strategy I had, in order to become that woman. Another good question. That's where I'm at. Asking the Lord what strategy he wants me to take to become more like him. I have a few ideas and I'm excited to begin that journey.
"...bearing fresh fruit every month". This is an easily skipped over part of this chapter in my opinion. When I stopped and thought about the process of growing fruit and the fact that it takes a whole month to bear fresh fruit, it made me cringe and groan just a bit. A month seems like forever to me! If I were a tree, I can imagine that the act of producing fruit is just a bit painful and requires much patience. And this is an important lesson that the Lord has been faithfully trying to teach me the past 23 years of my life. Patience. Many great things are birthed out of patient endurance, hard work, discipline, and more patience. But I so badly want that fruit at the end of every month!
"God charts the road you take". For some reason I got it into my head that I make things happen. For instance, I thought that I would be able to get to Australia by my own strength. I could raise the money, I could get a visa, I could do the missions training, I could build relationships with my team mates, I could get a job, etc. But you know what, at the end of the day, my strength to accomplish comes to squat! As much as I love freewill, there is some aspect of the Gospel that is clear about God's will leading and guiding us. Of course, we choose to follow him or not. However, if we do choose to follow Jesus, then we have surrendered our own plans and decided to join his. And he is a light unto our path. I don't know about you, but I find great peace in knowing that God charts my road. I think he's a bit smarter than I when it comes to making decisions and I would rather be on his road than mine anyday.
Jesus, thank you for speaking to me through your word today. Thank you for reigniting a passion and desire in my heart for your truths. I long to know you and your life-giving words more and more. Please keep me strong and discipline my heart. I want purity, holiness, and passion. I love you!
How could I have forgotten your spirit, God? How empty I've been feeling without him. All you wanted from me was to acknowledge you. Why, you are a jealous God. You want to be famous, known, and talked about. But the jealousy you have for your name is perfect...absolutely perfect. And so, I'll live to proclaim your name! I want you to be famous! Your name and your renown is my desire!
I don't know exactly what happened, but something inside of me shifted. The heaviness, depression, and burden I felt is gone! Praise Jesus! I think part of it is that God finally revealed to me clearly what happened with Australia and it brought tremendous closure. I feel like I can move on and begin the healing process for good. A door has been opened, and I am bounding through it!
Well, I suppose I could write all the details of what has happened in the past two weeks, but I'd rather let it rest and write about what I learned today.
Psalm 1
1How well God must like you— you don't hang out at Sin Saloon, you don't slink along Dead-End Road,you don't go to Smart-Mouth College.
2-3 Instead you thrill to God's Word,
you chew on Scripture day and night.
You're a tree replanted in Eden,
bearing fresh fruit every month,
Never dropping a leaf,
always in blossom.
4-5 You're not at all like the wicked,
who are mere windblown dust—
Without defense in court,
unfit company for innocent people.
6 God charts the road you take.
The road they take is Skid Row.
A couple of words and phrases calmed me like a refreshing breeze on a hot summer day.
"How well God must like you". I so needed to hear that and be reminded of his undying, passionate, faithful, unconditional, intimate, fatherly love!
"You thrill to God's word". Yesterday in my one-on-one mentoring session with my boss, I explained to her that I'm starting over, about to explode in growth, but as of today I'm not the woman I want to be. She asked me what type of woman I want to be. Good question. I want to be a woman with a quiet and gentle spirit, a servant, passionate for the Lord's name and madly in love with him again, humble and compassionate, an intercessor, encourager, and a woman of the word. I particularly want to be a woman of the word. She then asked me what I was doing, what strategy I had, in order to become that woman. Another good question. That's where I'm at. Asking the Lord what strategy he wants me to take to become more like him. I have a few ideas and I'm excited to begin that journey.
"...bearing fresh fruit every month". This is an easily skipped over part of this chapter in my opinion. When I stopped and thought about the process of growing fruit and the fact that it takes a whole month to bear fresh fruit, it made me cringe and groan just a bit. A month seems like forever to me! If I were a tree, I can imagine that the act of producing fruit is just a bit painful and requires much patience. And this is an important lesson that the Lord has been faithfully trying to teach me the past 23 years of my life. Patience. Many great things are birthed out of patient endurance, hard work, discipline, and more patience. But I so badly want that fruit at the end of every month!
"God charts the road you take". For some reason I got it into my head that I make things happen. For instance, I thought that I would be able to get to Australia by my own strength. I could raise the money, I could get a visa, I could do the missions training, I could build relationships with my team mates, I could get a job, etc. But you know what, at the end of the day, my strength to accomplish comes to squat! As much as I love freewill, there is some aspect of the Gospel that is clear about God's will leading and guiding us. Of course, we choose to follow him or not. However, if we do choose to follow Jesus, then we have surrendered our own plans and decided to join his. And he is a light unto our path. I don't know about you, but I find great peace in knowing that God charts my road. I think he's a bit smarter than I when it comes to making decisions and I would rather be on his road than mine anyday.
Jesus, thank you for speaking to me through your word today. Thank you for reigniting a passion and desire in my heart for your truths. I long to know you and your life-giving words more and more. Please keep me strong and discipline my heart. I want purity, holiness, and passion. I love you!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Just Reminding Myself...
So, it's 1:13am and I do not have time to even bullet point the amazing things God has done in my life this past week. So this message is basically a list of things for myself so I will not forget to write about anything. I'll write more tomorrow hopefully.
1. Realization of brokenness last Sunday
2. Sunday school- 1 John 4- no fear in love
3. talk with Mom- good advice- step away from new friends, spend time with Jesus in prayer and scripture
4. running away, afraid to be alone
5. email from friend (guard your heart above all things Proverbs 4:23)
6. breakthrough-need healing
7. sw
1. Realization of brokenness last Sunday
2. Sunday school- 1 John 4- no fear in love
3. talk with Mom- good advice- step away from new friends, spend time with Jesus in prayer and scripture
4. running away, afraid to be alone
5. email from friend (guard your heart above all things Proverbs 4:23)
6. breakthrough-need healing
7. sw
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Not by human wisdom, but by the power of God.
Today was a lovely day! I got off work early, grabbed my park blanket, laid in the sun, and read.
I read 1 Corinthians 1-2 today and had a small revelation.
I realized that it is only by the grace of God that we, as humans, even have the capacity to believe and have faith. Our own knowledge and emotion cannot be depended upon to motivate us to remain faithful to Jesus, only the wisdom and power of God can overcome.
Paul says that he was not called to baptize, but to proclaim the gospel. He proclaimed the gospel not with eloquent wisdom, so that the cross of Christ might be emptied of its power. In other words, if it is only by eloquent words that a person is persuaded to believe in Jesus, it would not be real belief.
Paul says that the Jews demanded signs and the Greeks desired wisdom. Which one are you? Are you a person who is always looking for the next spiritual high, emotional experience, or powerful vision in order to remain a believer? Or are you one who seeks knowledge; to be able to prove everything and know it with all certainty. Either way, our minds and our hearts deceive and fail us.
Unfortunately, Paul lets us know that Christ crucified is a stumbling block to those who seek knowledge and proof and foolishness to those who seek emotional experiences. A person cannot stand firm in their belief simply because they have all the facts and proof about the Cross. Eventually their knowledge will fail them. A person cannot stand on faith if all they rely on are experiences. Eventually they will have an experience that leads them to something other than God.
No, in fact, we do not even have the capacity to believe and have faith in Jesus Christ without the power and wisdom of God. Without God's wisdom and power we would eventually give up. We would give in to our flesh and follow the ways of this world.
If all we depend on is intellect or emotion to remain faithful to God....we will fail. We have to depend on God to remain faithful to God.
No amount of knowledge or experience can make you believe in Jesus Christ. Only by the grace of God.
Paul writes in verse 4-5, "my speech and my proclamation were not with plausible words of wisdom, but with a demonstration of the spirit and of power, so that your faith might rest not on human wisdom but on the power of God".
God, will you give me grace so I will be capable of believing, trusting, and having faith in your Son? I know I cannot rely on my experiences or my intellect to keep my faith strong. I've tried to believe in my own power so many times and I always fall. I need your wisdom and your power. Teach me your ways, oh my King. I am so in love with you.
I read 1 Corinthians 1-2 today and had a small revelation.
I realized that it is only by the grace of God that we, as humans, even have the capacity to believe and have faith. Our own knowledge and emotion cannot be depended upon to motivate us to remain faithful to Jesus, only the wisdom and power of God can overcome.
Paul says that he was not called to baptize, but to proclaim the gospel. He proclaimed the gospel not with eloquent wisdom, so that the cross of Christ might be emptied of its power. In other words, if it is only by eloquent words that a person is persuaded to believe in Jesus, it would not be real belief.
Paul says that the Jews demanded signs and the Greeks desired wisdom. Which one are you? Are you a person who is always looking for the next spiritual high, emotional experience, or powerful vision in order to remain a believer? Or are you one who seeks knowledge; to be able to prove everything and know it with all certainty. Either way, our minds and our hearts deceive and fail us.
Unfortunately, Paul lets us know that Christ crucified is a stumbling block to those who seek knowledge and proof and foolishness to those who seek emotional experiences. A person cannot stand firm in their belief simply because they have all the facts and proof about the Cross. Eventually their knowledge will fail them. A person cannot stand on faith if all they rely on are experiences. Eventually they will have an experience that leads them to something other than God.
No, in fact, we do not even have the capacity to believe and have faith in Jesus Christ without the power and wisdom of God. Without God's wisdom and power we would eventually give up. We would give in to our flesh and follow the ways of this world.
If all we depend on is intellect or emotion to remain faithful to God....we will fail. We have to depend on God to remain faithful to God.
No amount of knowledge or experience can make you believe in Jesus Christ. Only by the grace of God.
Paul writes in verse 4-5, "my speech and my proclamation were not with plausible words of wisdom, but with a demonstration of the spirit and of power, so that your faith might rest not on human wisdom but on the power of God".
God, will you give me grace so I will be capable of believing, trusting, and having faith in your Son? I know I cannot rely on my experiences or my intellect to keep my faith strong. I've tried to believe in my own power so many times and I always fall. I need your wisdom and your power. Teach me your ways, oh my King. I am so in love with you.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
I Commit You To God
I've recently made a friend. We have a lot in common and have enjoyed spending time playing disc golf, hiking, taking photos of creation, and listening to the birds. I have enjoyed his friendship so much and feel honored to know him. However, once I started getting to know him better, I learned that he has recently left the church and closed the Bible in order to "give up control" and get some things figured out. Something tragic happened to two people he dearly loved and he has never been the same since. This event caused him to question everything he once believed and to begin to distrust God. After several conversations about this, my heart grew so heavy that I thought it would fall out of my body through my feet. Many tears have been shed over his lost faith and the look of sadness in his eyes.
A part of Pine Cove (where I am now so thankfully and happily a full-time employee!!!) tradition is to have weekly "one-on-ones" with your boss. It is a time for you to share what's going on in your life and also discuss any questions or concerns you have about work related issues. It is a safe place and guarded by confidentiality. I had my first one-on-one today with a women that is beyond amazing. She is truly a woman after God's own heart. I shared with her my heart for this young man and she gave me some extremely wise advice. She said that people either accept God or they reject God. There is no middle ground. She said that what this young man might be doing is using the tragedy he has experienced as a screen to hide the fact that he is angry at God and is rejecting him. She encouraged me that I can do nothing but pray, love him, and be there as a friend. She said it's between him and God and at the end of it all, he's the one who decides if he's for or against God. She challenged me to step away, let God have him, and just pray.
That led me to a hard place. I want to be the person that says the one thing that changes his life forever. I want to be the person that loves him unconditionally and leads him back to Jesus. I want to be the person who sits and listens as he hashes things out. I want to be the person who speaks truth into his life and gets him to surrender. However, while I do love him and want him to know Jesus, part of the reason is pride. I want to control him. I want to play God. I want to heal, help, and mend him. But I can't. Only the Father is the healer, mender, helper.
Today as I picked up my Bible it fell open to Acts 20. I read down to verse 32 and broke down in tears.
"Now I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified."
And so, with tears running down my face, as I again realized my pride, I surrendered my friend to Jesus' hands. Although I love him and want to help, I am not God. I can pray; and that I will do as often as I can. But ONLY God can build him up and give him an inheritance.
A part of Pine Cove (where I am now so thankfully and happily a full-time employee!!!) tradition is to have weekly "one-on-ones" with your boss. It is a time for you to share what's going on in your life and also discuss any questions or concerns you have about work related issues. It is a safe place and guarded by confidentiality. I had my first one-on-one today with a women that is beyond amazing. She is truly a woman after God's own heart. I shared with her my heart for this young man and she gave me some extremely wise advice. She said that people either accept God or they reject God. There is no middle ground. She said that what this young man might be doing is using the tragedy he has experienced as a screen to hide the fact that he is angry at God and is rejecting him. She encouraged me that I can do nothing but pray, love him, and be there as a friend. She said it's between him and God and at the end of it all, he's the one who decides if he's for or against God. She challenged me to step away, let God have him, and just pray.
That led me to a hard place. I want to be the person that says the one thing that changes his life forever. I want to be the person that loves him unconditionally and leads him back to Jesus. I want to be the person who sits and listens as he hashes things out. I want to be the person who speaks truth into his life and gets him to surrender. However, while I do love him and want him to know Jesus, part of the reason is pride. I want to control him. I want to play God. I want to heal, help, and mend him. But I can't. Only the Father is the healer, mender, helper.
Today as I picked up my Bible it fell open to Acts 20. I read down to verse 32 and broke down in tears.
"Now I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified."
And so, with tears running down my face, as I again realized my pride, I surrendered my friend to Jesus' hands. Although I love him and want to help, I am not God. I can pray; and that I will do as often as I can. But ONLY God can build him up and give him an inheritance.
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